University According to Covid

Ok, I know I’m stating the obvious when I say that this year has sucked for parents and kids alike. Umm, no kidding. But as the mom of two university students — one third year and one first — sending them off this fall has been especially hard. The excitement and anticipation they are feeling as they embark on their university lives is sadly tempered with an extra dose of anxiety and uncertainty.

Whether you are dropping them at the sliding doors of the airport or waving goodbye as you drive away from residence, I don’t know about you but this goodbye has been more painful than most. I concede that I am a parent of the helicopter generation, and for better or worse, the fear of our children’s failure and suffering seems to weigh extra heavily on us. As we all know it’s really hard to watch your kids struggle with the lack of control over their circumstances at any time, let alone this strange and messed up year.

But there’s really nothing we can do to change things right now. So much is out of our control. In a “normal’ year, you know your kiddos are going to class (hopefully!), sporting events, joining clubs, making friends and having a typical university experience. Going to dorm rooms and house parties, finding their tribe and maybe even themselves.  

There is nothing normal about this year. 

I know of many children starting off on this adventure really quite alone. One of my daughter’s friends is venturing across the ocean for her first year and doing so without her parents, whether they wanted to come or not. Another is coming to Canada from the US and quarantining for two weeks on his own. Another just dropped her daughter off at a residence building that felt like a ghost town. 

I know this may be teaching them resilience, but this all just feels a little unfair, a little too uncertain and a little too lonely. And I won’t even mention the worry that comes with wondering whether they will get the COVID virus. 

 We dropped our son at the airport last weekend and he was off to start third year, and apart from the Uber Eats receipts, I really have no idea what he’s doing day to day and how he will manage his classes online. 

I then helped my freshman daughter move into her dorm, and though I’m excited for her to start this new adventure, it’s hard not to think about the potential disappointment of what her first year experience will look like as viewed through my own lens and experience, maybe not a fair comparison, but I can’t help it. 

It was just really hard watching her anxiety ebb and flow as we got her moved in, wondering if she’d made the right decision. There are so many more unknowns and frankly it would have been a lot easier to just stay home. But so many are itching to get on with their lives, decided to go, and now we will have to wait and see how the rest of the year unfolds. 

Yeah it’s weird and it sucks, but here’s what I want all the university kids to know: you are brave and we parents are all immensely proud of you.